Streams of Consciousness: Family Edition

When all the thought’s in my head refuse to come together in a rational working order and the blank page taunts me, I like to dump all the clutter in my brain. Clearing my mind of the clutter with the streams of consciousness technique is something I have used for years to break through writer’s block, most of the time I keep these rambling thoughts to myself in one of my journals but decided tonight that dumping here could be fun.

We shall see..enjoy!


I pulled Hayley from public school at the end of first grade because she was miserable in school and I knew homeschooling would benefit her.  Then life turned upside down. Depression took over and I let any form of schooling fall away. But everyone I know who has homeschooled says a year of deschooling is needed anyways.


The cat ears are are a daily accessory.
The cat ears are are a daily accessory.

So okay. We deschooled then this year starts and I start college. Oy! Now she’s a grade behind and wanting to go back to public school next year because she wants friends. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I am failing her but I really believe public school is the worst thing for her.  Hoping to find some local co-ops to balance out everything.


Picked up a few new learning materials today. Stuff like paper money and workbooks more in line with how the school system teaches.I have a year to catch her up and maybe convince her to stay home.


My oldest angel is doing amazing this year. Public school suits her thank God because we butt heads like two rams. Homeschooling her would be a nightmare. She’s finally maturing enough to where she is studying on her own. Something I never thought I would see.

She goes back to her dad’s and stepmom’s Friday until Christmas day. I am going to miss having her around the house. She’s turned into a real joy to have around now that the hormones have settled down and she’s no longer a scary demon child (although the nickname has stuck)

Yes that's my oldest dressed up as a creepy doll in front of our Christmas tree.
Yes that’s my oldest dressed up as a creepy doll in front of our Christmas tree.

In other news, she broke up with her boyfriend last week. I can’t believe I just typed those words. She was seeing this little boy for over a year, ah middle school love, which was worrisome but he was an okay kid. I was proud to learn that she broke up with him because he decided to not take his failing grades seriously and she had tired of his teasing. She is growing up on me.


Latest work project for him is done and his stress levels are back down, thank goodness. The man does not handle stress well at all and when he gets stressed we all suffer for it.


Wearing glasses after years of not everything slowly becoming fuzzier is amazing. I was even brave enough to post a makeupless-zero sleep-non filtered selfie on Instagram the day I picked them up. Not only do I see a million times better (did you know that signs aren’t normally fuzzy around the edges?) but they give me a strange sort of confidence. I love the way I look in them and am slightly aggravated I don’t have to wear them all the time. Swapping back and forth is giving me headaches.


I am on week three of Lexapro now and the difference is amazing. Every day I feel more like my old self. I’m coming back out of my shell and learning the world isn’t as scary as I thought.

That is it for tonight, my brain is all tired out and it’s past my bedtime.